Love Island, Episode 6: Clangers, cliffhangers and everyone is rattled

It’s safe to say everyone was a bit rattled by Rachel’s entrance, none more so than ‘Juggs’ and Burbling Brad – especially as it’s hard to predict who she’s leaning towards as not letting anyone in the villa know.

he good people who pen the Virgin Media press pack, however, have all the nuggets. Observe…
A bit about the newbie
Rachel is a 29-year-old luxury travel specialist (must be fierce specialist given Covid), who has her eye on not one, or two, but three boys in the villa.

The first of which she names in her press blurb is Aaron. She figures they’ll get along given they’re in the same luxurious industry.

The second boy she’s interested in getting to know is Hugo (“boyfriend material – handsome, charming – and I’d like to crack his shell a bit more”).

The third person to grab her fancy is Toby (yikes), but she’s still trying to figure out if he’s worth getting to know or not.

So, in short, Rachel isn’t into the two boys she’s been forced to choose between, so everyone is just merrily blowing smoke up each other’s proverbials.

Bedtime arrived, and everyone hauled themselves upstairs to the changing rooms, which are so inconveniently located for the downstairs bedroom.

Montage chat involved snoring, a frank sexual discussion between the girls (leaving Chloe appalled), and seemingly uber frightening scream-inducing earplugs. As for who was canoodling with who? ShAarron were giving it welly in the leaba, whereas everyone else dutifully two metres apart.
Kaz still thinks there’s hope
Who doesn’t love this relentlessly positive soul? Toby, that’s who.

After sharing a bed for over a week, Kaz is wondering why he hasn’t even cuddled her.

Personally, I’d be more concerned with the fact that – by her own admission – Toby is on the brink of “shoving” her away, not just emotionally but literally.

Given Kaz is beautiful, both inside and out, Toby just isn’t that into her. Like, at all. He admitted as much to Brad and Aaron.

What’s worse, he dove headlong into the discussion by saying: “I’m at the stage where she likes me more than I like her.”

Well, there’s no return after that point. Unless, a new, more appreciative boy barrels in. Or just an arbitrary “blonde”.

They’re so mad for blondes in there that Jake wants another one even though he already has one.

A challenging time
Challenge time only means one thing; slo-mo wibble bikini time! Not just that, there was stripping, snogging, extreme vibrating, and green gunge.

Tonight’s torrent of ick commenced with each boy stripping down to their budgies before releasing their tethered partner from their bonds with their teeth – all while being pummelled by slime and paint bombs. Wait, there’s more.

Female saved, each pair then had to lie on viciously vibrating plates while mixing drinks, before attempting to wear the face off each other. It. Was. Painful.

Rachel decides
She had 24 hours (72 hours in our world at this point) to decide who to bunk up with and who to sling home. Rachel, “dressed like this and holding all the power”, told Chuggs she felt his Love Island journey had just started, so it would only be fair to elongate it for him.

After all, Brad’s been in there over a week and has managed to pretty much alienate all females in there. That can only ring alarm bells for anyone in possession of a brain, right?

Then again, Chuggs is a transparent grafter. After all, the man sells customised bucket hats for a living. Given his cringe “book opening” metaphor, he’s probably looking to branch out into a range of bucket hats specifically to vom into.

Did it work on Rachel though?! After spouting the usual platitudes about “he’s made me feel comfortable” and “I’m excited to see where things go” we were, of course, left hanging until tomorrow night – because that’s how the show works.

If Twitter is anything to go by, and usually it is, people are of the opinion that this series best get itself off the ground, otherwise, the constant cliffhangers are not worth the energy required for all the eye-rolling.

Tweet of the night

Key takeaway
I need someone to explain those underwired underboob bikinis to me. I don’t get them. – RSS Feed